Well, since the decision was made about home ownership and future investments, I've been thinking a lot about what I should do with Grandma's money. I wanted to make sure it wasn't just... spent, that it had a lasting effect. At first I thought about making this land into an energy farm; setting up solar panels and wind turbines to harvest natural electricity and sell it back to the grid. This would be an extremely costly and long-term investment (not one that I would see the benefits of), and it would be dependent of the hope that whoever next inherited the property would value ecology as much as I do. I would hate to see the land divided up and the solar panels and wind turbines dismantled... that would be a bummer!
My Dad always said, "It's better to invest in yourself." So I thought, what would I want? Yes, I would love to save the planet, but I'm not really sure I have the right place for it. What I love, what I have always wanted to do, is travel... Travel all over, travel far away, see new things and see familiar things. People can be so different and so much the same at the same time!
John and I have gotten pretty good at traveling together. We practice often enough, going to Eastern Washington and then New Jersey and then Montreal and then the Eastern Caribbean...We are pretty good at land, sea and air! We have been traveling in wider and wider circles...So now where shall we go? So now we are off to Hong Kong! My friend, Irene, and her husband have lived there for five plus years. I can't wait to see them and their two kids! The more I think about it, the more excited I get!!
Sunday, January 30, 2011
That's my girl!
From Elizabeth Salinas; "I love big words! Psychoanalysis and Rationcinate"
That's my girl! Lol!
That's my girl! Lol!
Wake up call
Woke up to my text-alert sound at 6:30 am. (I am NEVER up that early!)
"I miss you."
Missin-podunk
So I replied, "I'm right here, Babe; what do you need?"
"Nothin'. Just my Mom."
Awww...
"I miss you."
Missin-podunk
So I replied, "I'm right here, Babe; what do you need?"
"Nothin'. Just my Mom."
Awww...
Temporary
I realize I haven't blogged for a while. Let me tell you what's been going on...
John and I have been remodeling. We came to a point where we were trying to decide on a back door. John wanted a traditional slider, while I prefer French doors (about three times more expensive-oops) When John started to raise a stink about the price on the French doors, then I thought, "Well, I've recently inherited some money, and this would be a great way to use it; Grandma would approve!"
Then it occurred to me that I thought of that kind of quickly. In my first marriage there was a lot of joint ownership to unravel. Who owned what, who owed what... I even had to share Elizabeth! It was ugly, and I swore I would never do that again. So when John and I decided to get married, for the sake of our family, we decided on a simple, non-traditional commitment ceremony. It seemed like the perfect solution... all of the commitment, public recognition, blending of experiences, without any of the legal hassle.
It seemed to work well for us... until lately. A little over a year ago, John's mom passed away, and he inherited her house and property. We decided to move in, make some changes and make a home for ourselves. It has been a fabulous year, but suddenly we are finding that our lives are blending to such a point that it is including our finances!
Before I bought a french door and in any other way, invested in the house, I wanted to make sure my investment would last, would be enjoyed and would be used. I wanted to make sure it was "our" house; a place where I belong and where I have some say. Grandma's money is the only thing that I've ever had in my life that is mine, and only mine... I could put it to use in this place and build something that is really important... or so I thought.
John and I discussed legality of the issue, and he flatly refused to make me a part owner in the place. I understand what he is doing, trying to keep that line between yours and mine. Also, land ownership would cancel any of my social security benefits. So practically it made sense. However, it still hurt my feelings.
Many a night he has been home late from whatever and of course I've imagined him lying in a ditch and it makes me wonder what would happen to me if he didn't come home one night. I believe his nephew is next in line to inherit this house, so in all practicality, I would be without a husband AND without a home... all in one fell swoop! So in wanting co-ownership, I was really trying to arrange some security for myself. God-willing, I did not ever want to be in the position where I was grieving for my husband and trying to find someplace else to live! But it wasn't meant to be. Security is a myth...
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure."
Helen Keller
U.S. Blind & deaf educator (1880-1968)
Do any of us really "own" anything? Can any of us really "own" a piece of the earth (What we call "property")?
"The Earth does not belong to us; We belong to the Earth".
Chief Seattle
Long story short, John is remodeling HIS house, I'm not involved. I'm just a glorified squatter... but aren't we all? So I wonder what I WILL do with Grandma's money? hmmmm...
John and I have been remodeling. We came to a point where we were trying to decide on a back door. John wanted a traditional slider, while I prefer French doors (about three times more expensive-oops) When John started to raise a stink about the price on the French doors, then I thought, "Well, I've recently inherited some money, and this would be a great way to use it; Grandma would approve!"
Then it occurred to me that I thought of that kind of quickly. In my first marriage there was a lot of joint ownership to unravel. Who owned what, who owed what... I even had to share Elizabeth! It was ugly, and I swore I would never do that again. So when John and I decided to get married, for the sake of our family, we decided on a simple, non-traditional commitment ceremony. It seemed like the perfect solution... all of the commitment, public recognition, blending of experiences, without any of the legal hassle.
It seemed to work well for us... until lately. A little over a year ago, John's mom passed away, and he inherited her house and property. We decided to move in, make some changes and make a home for ourselves. It has been a fabulous year, but suddenly we are finding that our lives are blending to such a point that it is including our finances!
Before I bought a french door and in any other way, invested in the house, I wanted to make sure my investment would last, would be enjoyed and would be used. I wanted to make sure it was "our" house; a place where I belong and where I have some say. Grandma's money is the only thing that I've ever had in my life that is mine, and only mine... I could put it to use in this place and build something that is really important... or so I thought.
John and I discussed legality of the issue, and he flatly refused to make me a part owner in the place. I understand what he is doing, trying to keep that line between yours and mine. Also, land ownership would cancel any of my social security benefits. So practically it made sense. However, it still hurt my feelings.
Many a night he has been home late from whatever and of course I've imagined him lying in a ditch and it makes me wonder what would happen to me if he didn't come home one night. I believe his nephew is next in line to inherit this house, so in all practicality, I would be without a husband AND without a home... all in one fell swoop! So in wanting co-ownership, I was really trying to arrange some security for myself. God-willing, I did not ever want to be in the position where I was grieving for my husband and trying to find someplace else to live! But it wasn't meant to be. Security is a myth...
"Life is either a daring adventure or nothing. Security does not exist in nature, nor do the children of men as a whole experience it. Avoiding danger is no safer in the long run than exposure."
Helen Keller
U.S. Blind & deaf educator (1880-1968)
Do any of us really "own" anything? Can any of us really "own" a piece of the earth (What we call "property")?
"The Earth does not belong to us; We belong to the Earth".
Chief Seattle
Long story short, John is remodeling HIS house, I'm not involved. I'm just a glorified squatter... but aren't we all? So I wonder what I WILL do with Grandma's money? hmmmm...
Sunday, January 9, 2011
In Tears
Last week, my daughter called me from school in Yakima (300 miles away) IN TEARS telling me she is having problems with her social life, and then went on to describe in depth the situation. She never specifically asked for my advice, but on the other hand, never really sought me out as a shoulder to cry on either. She would be the last to claim me as a "friend". So as I am listening to her, I find myself wondering what do you want me to say?. I don't really want to insert my opinion, obviously a delicate subject. I feel like I am walking on egg shells. We talked for about five minutes; I have tried to say something supportive, noncommittal. Then she hung up...
Three days later...I'm STILL wondering what was that about? Did I say the right thing? Did it help? How is she now? Is she alright?...*sigh*... Why do kids do that?
Three days later...I'm STILL wondering what was that about? Did I say the right thing? Did it help? How is she now? Is she alright?...*sigh*... Why do kids do that?
Monday, January 3, 2011
Welcome, 2011!!
ah-h-h, I LOVE NEW YEAR!! Not so much for the New Year's Eve party- I usually don't do much of
anything but go to bed early!- it's the newness of the year I find exciting. We were at the Seven Cedars Casino when 2011 started, with friends and fun. Then I spent the weekend cleansing the house. I smudged every room, packed away all the Christmas decorations... John emptied E's room and rip ped up the carpet in preparation to resume our remodeling... everything is feeling... optimistic... powerful... don't you feel the energy sizzling electrically?! I spent some time making lists and writing descriptions of future plans, hoping to focus some of this tangible current into reality. Maybe I should work on my l ayout for the garden.
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